What we do:
Making a separated family work can be a difficult task. Often parents have separated because they do not wish to be around each other anymore and still being tied together through their children can present a minefield of potential hurt and conflict for separated parents. Battles over child-care and child-time arrangements can leave parents struggling to agree and regularly leaves each party highly stressed. Sadly, for many of the separated families we meet within Kaleidoscope, effective communication has essentially broken down and families are left spending excessive amounts of money communicating through solicitors and regularly returning to court.
The core problem for us, as child-focused and trauma-informed professionals, is that it is the children in these separated families that really feel the consequences of this animosity between separated parents. We know that children’s development is shaped by their key relationships and the environment they are growing up in. Children are wired to tune into the moods and attitudes of their parents as, evolutionary speaking, these indicate how safe a child is from moment to moment. When there is major disharmony between parents, children naturally pick up on this and adjust accordingly. They may start to worry more, to regress and show younger child behaviours, they may start to take sides with one parent or act out in destructive or worrying ways. Children of separated parents who are unable to work together are often shouldering the burden of that conflict and can often feel lost for who they are, or who they’re supposed to be. Rarely have separated parents found the headspace to reflect on the impact of their acrimonious separation on their children.
At Kaleidoscope, we are one of the few centres in the UK that offer a structured and specialist, therapeutic approach to working with separated families. We draw upon our knowledge of relational approaches to therapy and systemic ways of helping alongside an expertise in working with parents in conflict to develop better and more collaborative forms of communication. Our founder, Dr Paul Walton, is a co-author of the Parenting Apart Programme, a structured intervention designed specifically to help separated/separating parents move forwards without conflict or animosity and work together in ways that, not only help their children thrive, but also reduce their stress and struggle as co-parents.
We are mindful that being a separated parent is extremely difficult and that co-parenting as separated parents is often something that we’ve not been shown how to do. We recognise that unless we get separated parents working together in sessions then there is little chance they will be able to do so out in the real world. We ensure that we create a safe, explorative space for separated parents to find ways to communicate and work together. We are different to mediation services as we come from a therapeutic lens and use our formal therapeutic training to support each party to not only reach agreements, but to be changed in the way they work together through our process. We work on the relationship between separated parents rather than just seek to find an agreement between parties. We may offer direction and/or challenges to either parent to achieve our shared goals and will always hold the wellbeing of the children as the core rationale for parents working better together, whilst apart.
If you are interested in the help we offer and would like to get booked in for a free 30-minute consultation with Dr Paul Walton, then please get in touch via the form below. If you have any further questions, then please click here to see our FAQ page.
Get in touch.
Sunny Bank Mills | Leeds
A: 10 Sandsgate, Sunny Bank Mills, 83-85 Town Street, Farsley, Leeds, LS28 5UJ
Monday – Friday | 09:00 – 17:00
Saturday – Sunday | Closed
Madison Offices | Leeds
A: Room 2 HQ, Madison Offices, Nursery Ln, Leeds LS17 7HW
Monday – Friday | 09:00 – 17:00
Saturday – Sunday | Closed